PROG ROCK ALLERGICS

Anita Blay, aka cocknbullkid, was one of the most enlivening, eloquent and amusing interviewees we have had for some time. But before we get to the chattings, let's remind ourselves of her new single I'm Not Sorry, what is out on March 9th.

She is also doing one of the NME Awards shows on 24th February at KOKO, which you can find out about on her Myspace, what is here

Hello Anita. How are you today?
How am I today? I’m very well, thanks! I’m just at the deli getting a mango smoothie.

Ooh, how nice.
Yes, very exciting news there. Make sure that goes in.

I shall. So, we should start by saying thank you very much for your single. It is very good.
Ah, thank you. Well, I saw your piece. That was very funny, actually.

[Enjoying mutual love-a-thon] Well, no, thank you. Anyway, how are things going, is it all ramping up quite nicely? Do you still get lots of time to be creative and noodle?
Oh yeah – we’ve got this limited release thing with the single, but the thing is, I always preferred and wanted to have the bulk of the album done before I was signed to anyone, so I could then say ‘Well, this is my work, do you wanna sell it?’ I mean, there’s always going to be politics [when you’re signed] but it was an intentional thing for me, to get it finished first, without any pressure.

[Thinking to self ‘What a good idea,’ etc] It must be tricky though – we were talking to someone the other day whose every available moment was booked into the studio, so that they could churn out hits.
Exactly, I’m a machine! I guess that’s what you sign up for. I do think there’s a balance you can strike though, I do think it’s possible – look at Kate Bush, or David Bowie, or Bjork. I’m not saying I’m as great as those people, but they set an example. I still want to be creative, and sell records, but I don’t want to become a pop princess or a puppet.

How do you think those people did that then? You do hear - in all creative industries, really - that there is an established wisdom about how things work, what things you’re allowed to have control of, and things that you’re not. But there are exceptional people who manage to establish their own way of working. How do you do that?
I think you put yourself up for a lot of criticism – you run the risk of being called a bitch, basically. And sometimes you have to do that. If you listen to what everyone says, and there are so many ‘rules’ in this industry, it’s funny – that’s what separates the S Clubs from the true, original writers. It’s just about knowing when you should listen to other people...and when to listen to [assumes wanky tone] ‘the voice within’. If that’s not too, uh….[giggles]

You have to pick your battles.
Exactly. And I think you have to remember why you got into this thing in the first place. If you had any kind of manifesto or reason for why you thought you were so important that you should be a popstar. Some people forget that and turn into the very thing they probably tried to avoid. That’s something that I’m always trying to remember. So, um, that’s my own personal mantra! [More giggling]

It is a good one. Why do you think you should be a popstar, then?
[Giggles] Well, I think because a lot of people probably think I shouldn’t be – and that’s the very reason why I should. And because I don’t think there’s many people [in pop] who don’t conform. A lot of the time, that’s what’s wrong with the world – if it’s always the same people allowed up on their soapboxes, nothing changes. I’m not saying I’m here to change the world…although there is a little part of me…

Do you have a God complex?
[Giggles] Oh, no! I don’t want to rule the world, I just want to change it in my own little way. Even if I’m deluded, I think I could be a massive popstar, and just thinking that I can, is something to aspire to, at least. [As if to self] Yeah, that’s what goes on inside my head, most of the time. It’s probably delusions of grandeur, I don’t know…

Well, you have to believe you have something to offer, haven’t you? And these are exciting times, lots of people seem to have totally their own approach – they’re less bothered about being shiny, and do not mind having crap cardboard things in their videos. We then launch into our ‘Mighty Booshisisation of Music’ theory, which you can read, if you can bear it, here.
Completely, and I bet the Mighty Boosh believed in what they were doing, and I bet they got laughed at along the way. But that’s the whole point - if you listen to what everyone says, you’ll never get anywhere. It’s such a cliché, but you do have to be a bit belligerent, and believe in what you do. [Giggles] I mean, that’s not to say there aren’t plenty of people out there with talent, who also believe in themselves [giggles], so it’s a fine line…

Do you read your own press?
Yeah, I do. And I actually quite like reading the bad press, because obviously not everyone is going to like what I do. I like criticism, I welcome it. You’ve got to be quite tough, I think, but I’m so prepared for that, I know that’s the case. And I haven’t set out to be inoffensive – I mean, haven’t set out to be offensive either – but I think a lot of the things I sing about, or do, or the way I look, is going to offend people. But that’s fine.

Right, now then, let’s talk about your new single and its lyrical ‘themes’. We thought it was about revenge but is it really just about not having any regrets?
It’s kind of both, really. Essentially it’s about not being sorry about who you are. I mean, there was definitely one point in my teenage years when I was the most sorry person in the world - I thought I was shit, to be honest. But then you get a bit older and it turns around. But I also wrote it because I found that when I hurt someone I really didn’t care about it that much [giggles] and I thought ‘Ooo, that’s a bit of a curious thing’ and felt a bit bad. People seem to have responded to it, though, which makes me feel I’m not the only one that can act like a bit of a prick, and not really care about it. It’s the sort of thing people pretend isn’t there because they think it makes them a bad person. But I don’t agree, and I hope people can find some solace in that.

Music is probably the best medium for those sorts of thoughts, isn’t it? And you can’t spend your whole life in a pond of misery, can you? You just have to have the resolve to not behave like a prick again.
Exactly, yes.

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done and not felt sorry for?
Oh God…ooooh…I think I’ll keep that to myself.

That sounds REALLY BAD.
No! It’s not that bad…[musing]…although...um, anywaaaay...

Alright then, what are the other sentiments you think you can get away with in a song that you might not mention in polite society?
[Giggles]…Oh, God…well, death, I suppose. You don’t mention that down the pub. And masturbation - you know, we all do it, but some people don’t like talking about it. And the battle some people have with their sexuality – many people will have and have had that, so I’ve written about it…and…[choosing words carefully, we think]…also that sometimes in relationships, you set out to hurt someone on purpose, because it gives you pleasure. I think that’s a human emotion, and people do get a sick sort of pleasure out of that sort of thing. I’m not celebrating it, but I’m also not pretending that [those feelings] aren’t inside of me.

Well also, on a sort of low level, essentially dating is a game of one-upmanship and making someone feel shit so that they want you, isn’t it? [Starts guffawing. We do not know why we are saying this.]
God, that’s a new approach. I never thought of it like that.

I don’t know where that came from.
Ha, ha, ha! That’s what your dating is like! Wow, really? How do you do that?

I suppose I just mean when you first start going out with someone, the whole dance of it. Not ringing them, ringing them, texting them, not texting them, you know…
Oh yeah, course, yes. Completely. If you don’t ring someone back, they start to think something’s wrong with them. God, yeah, I didn’t really think of it like that.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I am just rubbish at it.
Next time I go on a date, I’m going to be thinking way too psychologically about it.

Moving on, we have some extra fairly-quick, slightly more daft questions
Okay.

First one – if you were stranded on a desert island, all the peanuts had run out and you became so hungry that you absolutely had to eat a part of your own body, what would you chow down on first?
Weeeeell, probably the fattest part of my body, so I think I’d go for the thigh first. Might be a bit predictable, but that’s where the most meat is.

A lot of people have said their feet, but I think that would be quite chewy.
That doesn’t make any sense. You need your feet to get around. Definitely thigh.

If popstars carried business cards, what imaginative job title would you put on yours [For example, readers: Duffy=Dinnerlady Of Soul, Tom Out Of Keane=Head Boy Of Pop]?
Oh God, umm, what would I be? I would beeeee…Queen of the Future Pop World. [To self:] You can’t have Queen. [Back at us:] Boss of Pop? Manager?

In charge, basically?
Yes.

If your bottom was a spaceship, where would you go and what would you bring the aliens as a present?
If my what was a spaceship?

Your bottom.
Oh, okay. I would go to Mars. Do we know more about Mars than we do the other planets? [She is asking the wrong person]. I am really planet ignorant. No, I would go to Mars and I would bring back some plants. I’m pretty sure they’d have cures for certain ailments over there - for you know, like super serious illnesses. So I would bring back the remedies.

But what would you take them?
Oh, I seeee. I would take them a box set of Seinfeld. Because I think they would like something to watch, and it’s the best sitcom ever.

Good choice. How would you explain your music to grandmas?
I kind of have to do that on a daily basis, anyway, with my Mum. I’d have to say, the only description I’d have to use is ‘Sorry Mum, it’s not religious’, because my Mum is a real Christian freak, so I’d have to say ‘It’s not really about heaven, and it’s everything you don’t listen to’. But the most basic way, would be to say that it’s really just pop music.

What would your specialist subject be on Mastermind?
Seinfeld. Or, or, or…polar bears.

What exciting facts can you tell me about polar bears?
Well, apparently they can live off one seal, for a week. And they stake out - they’re very laborious stakers – they can wait above the ice for 24 hours, for a seal. And then once they get one, they can live off it for a week. Which is pretty impressive. They’re beautiful - really graceful.

Excellent. What did you steal in your freak, one-time-only incident of shoplifting?
What would I, or what did I?

What did you.
[Giggles] Ohh, I used to steal things all the time when I was younger. I used to make holes in my pockets so that when I used to steal a penny sweet or whatever, I could shove it right to the back so that when the shopkeeper said ‘What’s that in your pocket?’ they could look in my pocket and there’d be nothing in there, because it had moved. That was my trick. [giggles]

[Mock-shock] Where did it go then? Was that so that you could dispose of the thing you had stolen?
[As if to amateur] No, nooo, what I’d do is have a hole in the pocket – God, I can’t believe I’m saying this – don’t try this at home, please – I’d put the sweets in my pocket, and there’d be a hole in my pocket. Just in the lining, not in my actual jacket, so the sweet would be stuck in the lining, and then I could move it to the back [of my coat] to where my bum was, or something. And then they couldn’t find it.

You were a professional.
I know, I was so devious at that age. But yes, I was very successful.

Were sweets the biggest thing you nicked?
Well, I did steal a Spice Girls biography – that first fan book they did. I went into Woolworths and stole that for my friend’s birthday present.

Are you the reason Woolworths have gone under?
I wouldn’t be surprised if I was in some way responsible for the demise of Woolworths. I was in there every day. Because my Mum used to own a shop that was opposite, and so I’d be in Woolworths, demolishing the pick’n’mix.

They were kind of asking for it with pick’n’mix, really.
Yes.

It’s all down really low – it’s too hard for kids.
It’s at pocket level, isn’t it! It’s at hand level…

…it’s at mouth level when you’re four. You’re just like, ‘What is this torture?’
[Giggles] It’s a real tease.

Have you ever gone to crack an egg open, hesitated, and thought, ‘I really hope there’s not a little bird in there’?
[Laughs] YES! Oh my God, yes. All the time! I don’t really know, I mean…what…do you have to leave an egg for a certain time, before it…I mean, I don’t know.

[Glorious ignorance] I suppose they must have to be incubated for a certain amount of time, and if you take it away too late, it could go all half bird or something? I did speak to a band the other day who live in the middle of nowhere and they have chickens, and they said it is quite common. Which is gross.
Ewww, imagine that!

He said you could tell because they are heavier.
Right, I’ll remember that. I thought that was just one of those naïve worries that I had.

I think we suburban dwellers are probably quite safe.
Good. Well that’s comforting.

Well, I think that is everything. Thanks very much for talking to us.
Ah, no problem. Bye!