If This Week's Singles Were A Wife Of Henry VIII, Which Wife Would They Be?

By Rebecca Nicholson

Henry VIII fever! David Starkey is on Channel 4 tonight talking about how Henner's childhood might have made him handy with his chopping block, while you can see just how massive his armour was in real life in London right now, should you wish. So let's see how My Tiger My Timing, Frankmusik and Franz Ferdinand would shape up as his wives!

My Tiger My Timing - This Is Not The Fire

Forgive that their video is Shirley Manson gone to art school, for they know not what they do. And it was probably quite cheap. They are a new band, after all. In spite of this being oddly laid-back and understated, considering it meant to be an upbeat pop-rock kind of song, it is our favourite one of the week. As Sir Thomas More said of Catherine of Aragon, "[she] thrilled the hearts of everyone." Ie this is obvs the best.

If This Was A Wife Of Henry VIII, Which Wife Would It Be? Catherine Of Aragon!

Frankmusik - Better Off As Two

We went to see Young Vince last week, and it was very, very jazzy (as in fancy, not genre-wise) for a small show, and he had these amazing stage lights that looked like my grandma's three-bar heater. It's erudite pop but maybe it is a touch too contrived to, um, stop him from, er, losing his head. (We have not really thought this analogy through, have we? Still - keep going!)

If This Was A Wife Of Henry VIII, Which Wife Would It Be? Ann Boleyn!

Metronomy - Radio Ladio

This has been knocking around for quite some time and is not Metronomy at its best, but it has a nice Blue Man-esque video (check out the YouTube comments for Blue Man-related bickering, which is always fun) and is very beloved of the king, even though it will soon die in childbirth.

If This Was A Wife Of Henry VIII, Which Wife Would It Be? Jane Seymour!

Franz Ferdinand - No You Girls

It says a lot about this song that it is a disappointment to see the real video and not the iPod Touch advert - look, a skateboard thing that you move with your fingers! It is not bad, as such, but it is a slightly smug puff of smoke that doesn't really do a lot. Therefore they should have their marriage annulled, get a nice settlement and be known henceforth as the king's sister.

If This Was A Wife Of Henry VIII, Which Wife Would It Be? Anne Of Cleves