Lipster rating:

You know readers, it is all very well us getting the skinny on the best new music and quizzing so-hot-right-now dance types, but when the likes of Idiotface from The Courteneers are quoted in Q magazine as saying "Our band are fucking LEGENDARY, man' (and let's not forget, this is a man whose mam still makes his sandwiches) you do end up wondering just what is the point.

And while top hobbyist Paul Heaton once called The Housemartins 'the fourth best band in Hull', and Chris Martin called Coldplay 'the seventh best band in the world', we are not interested in such notions of greatness. Obvo, it is much more amusing to use the internet to locate musical shitheaps. So that is what we are going to do.

DARE YOU ENTER HANNAH'S GARDEN?

Our first candidates are Portland Oregon's piss-poor Hannah's Garden, who claim to be gypsy folkers. If that is not terrifying enough, they would like to sing you a song about how hippie death drug 'marijuana' is like, really good.

Do you see? They are quite literally total crap.

Hannah's Garden's drummer Andy, who you will have just witnessed (c)rapping about things he considers to be 'irie' looks like this:

We would like to point out that there is not a text box in the world which is big enough to contain the appropriate textual response to this man. So we will just give you the short version. Rearrange the following as you see fit: HIM. NO ONE. TOLD. NOT. HAS. HE. BLACK. IS.

And while someone has called this 'track' 'The most effective anti-drugs advert ever made', we think the best response is this one, to be found in the comments section underneath the youtubulation:

Well done, JamesArtifice. I think we can safely say you have spoken for all of us.

If you are a hippie with no sense of irony or awareness of the 21st century please call 0800 KILL ME NOW. Or go here, to buy the THIRD Hannah's Garden CD. We can exclusively reveal this will be the worst five pounds you ever spend. Unless you have spent all your money on 'weed'/have been set on fire.

Unintentional LOLS o-clock! - Hannah's Garden on the internets.

That, readers, was Crap Band #1. But I know we can do worse. So if you would like to nominate a band for the Hall of Lame, email crap@thelipster.com. We have not set up the email yet but we will do it later on.